owlxxcity
Tails Fellow
honesty only dies in liars
Posts: 36 
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Post by owlxxcity on Nov 21, 2009 22:30:07 GMT -5
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owlxxcity
Tails Fellow
honesty only dies in liars
Posts: 36
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Post by owlxxcity on Nov 21, 2009 22:31:37 GMT -5
(not the story) im waiting for some1 to reply to see if i should carry on with the story.
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Post by william on Nov 22, 2009 1:02:41 GMT -5
First this is not a chapter, this is a paragraph that anyone can write in about ten minutes. Second the  at the end was pointless. Third this plot looks really boring. Also the first sentence made me really really confused, the grammar is odd. Heres the exact sentence, then I will try to rewrite it correctly to its orginal meaning. You: nothing could be unheard thats how quiet it was until of course the insane bloodcurdling scream came from across the street Me: Nothing could be unheard, it was quiet, that was until I heard a insane blood curdling scream from across the street. Also this part 'weird lexi's favorite colour is yellow and she lives right across the street' was she supposed to be saying or thinking this, I have really no idea. Im also guessing this whole story is from her point of view, I really have no idea cause the poor writing is well poor. Also her instincts make no sense, if I had found a clue of a possibly kidnapping or murder of my friend, I would call the police or get some form of help just to make sure. Thats kinda how a person should react in this type of thing, not cry and go back to bed and hope its not true. |
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Post by »Propaganda Minister« on Nov 22, 2009 7:49:58 GMT -5
This is...horrible...there is so much wrong with it I don't know where to start...
WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BUMP AFTER ONE MINUTE?!
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Post by Meredy_Chao on Nov 22, 2009 17:08:42 GMT -5
Really, Owl...horrible...do not bump or double post!
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Post by cookiexxcity on Nov 26, 2009 17:14:22 GMT -5
horrible you make authors cry.
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